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Symposium – a social gathering at which
there is free interchange of ideas, a formal meeting at which several
specialists deliver short addresses on a topic or related topics, a collection
of opinions on a subject
Dr. Wiggington –
If he had sideburns, I would diagnose him as a confused young man, unsure of
his sexuality.
Dr. Tames – Who
talketh, walketh the scoffeth.
Dr. Reavis – All
right, all right, lets begin this. Let
me take roll. In no particular order.
Dr. Reavis – Dr.
Reavis… oh, that’s me, Here and last, but certainly not least, Dr. Tames.
Dr. Gonzalez –
Let me say my piece first. As all of you
know, I have been on several missions to the canals of the deep pacific. I have seen all kinds of life down
there. There are many beautiful life
forms on this planet. We all come from
organisms and bacteria. When life began
here on Earth, it was not God who made us in his own image. But rather it was the right temperature. We, as earthlings, are a fluke of the
universe. Life is not a miracle, but the
human brain, most definitely is, if there is such a things as miracles. How is it, that we lonely apes, because we
did in fact evolve from primates, were able to invent language. We even went further with language for we had
uses for it. How is it that a person can
write words to communicate with someone else.
Let us look at communication.
That is very much an earthling invention.
If aliens exist,
I believe water would destroy these beings, because water to a life form, is a
very alien thing. Only on this planet,
does water exist. In this whole
universe, there is not one planet, who’s gasses have evolved into water, that
ever great life-bringer. Science proves
that water has created life, so how can life be elsewhere, if water does not
exist elsewhere, or rather, cannot exist in this universe. Perhaps in a black hole, with anti-matter,
but that is heading in the realm of mathematics and physics, and I only know of
the biology and geology and mariners of ancient lore.
If aliens exist,
I believe water would destroy these beings, because water to a life form, is a
very alien thing. Only on this planet,
does water exist. In this whole
universe, there is not one planet, who’s gasses have evolved into water, that
ever great life-bringer. Science proves
that water has created life, so how can life be elsewhere, if water does not
exist elsewhere, or rather, cannot exist in this universe. Perhaps in a black hole, with anti-matter,
but that is heading in the realm of mathematics and physics, and I only know of
the biology and geology and mariners of ancient lore.
Dr. Tames – Get
off his piece now. Why doesn’t someone
lighten this place up and enlighten this etude.
Dr. Bruce – Let
me go on. I want to be the voice of
reason in this haphazard talk we are undertaking. As you all know, I am a mathematician. I don’t believe in anything, unless it can be
proven. Why, the only truth I know,
which is the only truth in the whole universe, has got to be the concept of two
plus two. No matter what, two plus two
will always equal four. If we are on Neptune, and an extra-terrestrial had two ships and then
it had two more flying ships, the total is four. The same on Earth, two rocks plus two more
rocks will always come out to four rocks.
It will never be five rocks, nor will it be ten rocks. Look at your hands, everybody, you got two
fingers and you add two more fingers, this is so simple, what do you have? Now, it may be called something else,
wherever you go, be it Uranus, or Venus, but this four is universal.
Therefore, it is
hard for me to believe in something which mathematics can disprove. What Dr. Gonzalez was hinting at, was the
mathematical formula known as Drake’s Equation.
This equation proves that life on this planet is a fluke. God did not put us here. God did not have a garden of Eden and made
woman out of Adam’s rib. No. There is no life anywhere in the
universe. The universe is composed of
gasses and energy. Is energy life? That is a question that philosophers have
struggled with since the dawn of time.
And what has trying to figure out that question ever got the
philosopher? Nothing. The philosopher either went insane from
thinking too much, lived alone much of his/her life because it never got off
its stoop of thinking, he let women live their lives without him. What did they write, nothing but boring
tracts where cogito ergo sum, seems to be the penultimate idea. No, we most definitely are the only thinking
race in this whole universe. Only the
human race could devise racism, only the human race could devise murder, only a
human could love a human, for we humans are just too, I don’t know, what can
you say, human?
Albeit, there
are some diseases that can alter the human biology, just as well. How is that possible, you might be asking
yourselves? Any of you doctors of high
estimation ever come across a subject that had the Floe-jowls? Any of you?
Naysayers beware. This is a
disease that transforms the patient’s epidermis into a crocodile-like species,
which in the final stages, some patients have come out resembling the features
of an alien. The common alien; the extra-terrestrial that is most described
by all the nitwits and pundits in this society, from the shores of Tripoli, to the banks of
the Hudson River, to the ends of the Nile, to the heights of the Himalayas. You do know of what alien I am referring
to; the alien being that most of the
people who have been abducted have claimed to have seen. The being that is gray, about four feet tall,
that comes and abducts them wherever they are, especially when they are
sleeping. Always when they are
sleeping? What is the deal?
Now, compare
this report of sleep paralysis to a report of alien abduction, and when they
are put side by side, you must be an ignorant person to dispute that these two
occurrences do not seem similar. Alien
abductees report a state of paralysis, just as I have observed at the Sleeping
Institute. Alien abductees also report
that they cannot speak, just like the subject who is under sleep
paralysis. Do you doctors see where I am
going with this?
Aliens are not
coming from Venus, Mars, or Uranus. They
are not from the Cancer Constellation, from some black holes, from under the
sea. They are not from the future coming
to the past to see what went wrong. They
are not communicating with us, with crop circles, or megaliths, or pictures on
the sides of mountains, or through petty abductions, because my fellow doctors,
in the end, kidnapping is a petty crime
If perhaps,
extra-terrestrials were coming to Earth, how would they communicate with
us? How would they convey messages to
us? I think the only way they can
communicate with us, is by abducting humans.
They come to Earth, perform oral surgeries, anal probes, and other
tests, that we find so horrible. Its
like this. When we were kids, we all had
magnifying glasses which we used to torture the ants with. Don’t you remember? What was the purpose of that? We had the power, is the only reason I can
think of today why we tortured those ants.
We humans are way bigger, thousand times bigger than the ants. Therefore we could stomp and drown them,
because we are the dominant species.
A planet full of
primates, especially primates that can walk and talk and go into outer space,
and write books, and add up two plus two, and play music, and tear down
mountains, and kill off humanity. All of
us monkeys, with opposable thumbs, grabbing items, which no other animal on the
planet can do. But the most important of
all our inventions, is the ability of speech.
There it is again, communication efforts. Our speech is special, it is unique, as is
our writing. Out thought processes. What makes a human write an
autobiography. We write and speak of
ourselves, we idolize each other. We
watch television shows were we see beautiful humans and it pushes emotions in
us that make us want to be beautiful like the humans we see on magazines or
television. That is something I can’t
grasp, because we are all very beautiful, in a certain way, who has the
ability, the gall to say this woman is more beautiful than this other one. What sparks our brains to distinguish such
ideas in our little heads? Is the
appearance of extra-terrestrials something that we humans need so we can realize
that no one is more special than anybody else.
In the very end, my neighbor, my wife, my children, my mother, my
father, my siblings, my ex-girlfriends, all of them, the president of the United States,
Albert Einstein, A. Hitler, Glenn Gould, all of us, are simply monkeys.
Dr. Smith –
Anyways, let me start off by saying, once again to get everyone in order again,
that the whole existence of alien life forms are false. They are fake. They do not exist. They are a figment of imagination. From the writings of Haydon in the Aurora, Texas
sightings, to the paintings of UFO’s above Mary Magdalene; aliens are nothing
but a figment of our imagination. Once
one person, on drugs nonetheless, starts to see and reports alien abductions,
it gets the ball rolling. Others come
forward, and they tell of how they too have been abducted. They lift their stories of abductions from
the people who are making them up. They
too want to feel special; they are just a copy of an original. In our post-modern world, even our lives are
lives that have already been lived; we are just usurping them because we have
nothing else to do. Therefore, these new
victims of ‘aliens’ are also abducted while they are sleeping.
Now if you add
the epidemic that is destroying our county, which is drugs, it makes these
hallucinations a bit worse. They become
nightmares to the victim. Where sleep
deprivation only brings about dreams of abductions, a drug psychosis brings on
the nightmares of kidnappings and anal probes and death. People with insomnia, speak of horrors that
they see daily, but you mix up drugs that don’t make you fall asleep, and bam,
the psychosis only gets worse. Mix up
sleep deprivation and methamphetamines or opiates and you have people saying
they are getting abducted nightly.
How is it that
so many people around the world have the same visions? These are people from all walks of life,
people who we have tried to find a connection between them, and all we have
found, all of us in the scientific community, have found nothing to link them
together. They have the same signs, from
bright lights to missing time, same drawings of saucer-shaped ships to cigar
looking vessels, same beings, which is the same picture thousands of people around
the globe have drawn from their own memories, same abduction stories, where the
abducted is picked up late at night, and prodded my several gray beings and
also several troll looking ones, and they all seem to see the same alien. How can people see the same creatures, night
after night, describe the same tests, when these people don’t even know each
other, much less they are separated by thousands of miles, from oceans to
oceans, from one distant culture to another distant one.
In short, the
alien being, the gray being, the one who controls the spaceship, that creature
has become, in our society, the new boogey-man.
There are no more stories that scare our children to sleep. Gone is the tale of the werewolf on big
full-moon nights. The vampire, ha! he
has become childish fodder, for he doesn’t scare people anymore, but rather
people want to become the undead. Our
kids look in any mall, and you will see the remnants of a gothic culture. And serial killers, well, there are so many
now, that most of the time the person next door to you is so deviant that he or
she is going out and participating in a killing spree, with anthrax, with
snipers, with terroristic planes, you name it, and its been played out in our
culture so much, it is no longer taboo.
And since we are
talking about taboo subjects and Satan, then what do any of you have to comment
on the practicing of anal probes. Why do
so many abductees complain of getting anal probes? Is our fecal matter that important to other
species of life, is our dung so fascinating to E.T., that they must penetrate a
phallus into our rectum for ‘research purposes’. I don’t know, but to me, it looks like some
of these abductees just want to be prodded anally. Anal sex is still so taboo in the bedroom,
that what if an alien, which is the equivalent of Satan, is just coming in our
bedrooms late at night, to explore our sexual frustrations. Is the alien, just a nice Satan, who comes
and probes our humans anally? My friends,
my fellow colleague, just exactly who is reaching climax at these soirees.
These are deep
sexual undertones, no pun intended, about the fact that many people do love
anal sex. Look at the Greeks, the
Romans, the modern Indians, each of these cultures loved anal sex. Depictions of sodomy are shown in pieces of
pottery, frescoes, vases. If the same
idea was so open today, why my neighbors would have a coffee book filled with
pictures of sodomy. Somewhere along the
way, sodomy became taboo, so our sexual minds, because all us humans, no matter
if we are male or female, we all think of sex all day long. Sodomy was a practice that was enjoyed among
both sexes, but somewhere in history, it was outlawed, and the act became an
act only deviants did. The Christians
had something to do with the death of sodomy, for having anal sex, become the
bad way to have sex, because no impregnating of women was to occur. Us humans, we love sex so much, we are the
dominant species on our planet.
My research
however, has shown me, that many people on this Earth suffer from a bad case of
Mass Hysteria. Let me put it this way,
if one person contracts an ailment, and this ailment garners much attention
from many aspects of society, be it the television news, newsprint, senators,
or just plain anybody, very shortly, others start to come out with the same
symptoms, and they too get that national attention that puts them on the map,
so to speak. And if you give it some
more time, before anyone knows it, a whole country could be affected with this
ailment.
Or take for
instance, the events of October
23, 2005. At this date, one
male passenger on a flight from Phoenix
to Boston
suddenly got ill on the airplane. He
complained and moaned that he had this illness that transpired from the free
drink he got in his first class privileges.
Within the hour, the passengers in the third class flight, they too
started to complain of having gushing sweats and feelings of immanent
danger. They too got a free drink from
the flight attendant, so they had all got the same symptoms. When the plane landed, it arrived at Atlanta early because the
passengers were starting an uproar, and they wanted control of the air vessel;
anyways, every passenger on the plane had to be taken to the E.R. The following month all the passengers sued
the airline, with a class-action lawsuit that centered on the free drinks that
were passed around.
It takes one
person to speak of how they were abducted.
Then they are the ‘stars’ of all these daytime and nighttime talk
shows. One person gets their fifteen
minutes of fame, and then five million other people want to be famous too.
Others start to feel as if they have been abducted also. Of course the media intervenes, and we all
know how much of an influence the media has on all of us television junkies.
The media itself
has to be the one aspect in society that gives us all these nightmares to feed
us this alien mass hysteria. Through the
media, there are movies of aliens destroying the world, t-shirts of Roswell, New
Mexico, television sit-coms and dramedy shows that
are about extra-terrestrials. Books
about alien abduction, books that try to explain close encounter of the third
kind to the public. Every way one turns,
there is an instance that people can read that says that alien life forms do
exist. And us the public, we eat it all,
we ingest the information like the super-information highway, and we keep it in
our heads, and late at night, we have nightmares, which start the mass
hysteria, and before you know it, our children are having the same nightmares,
our neighbors are now having the same dreams, because these nightmares are so
frequent, we are no longer afraid of them anymore. It is like the idea of Satan. For thousands of years, Satan scared most
people to be good citizens, but the more we dreamt him, the less evil he
became, and in the end, Satan became an angel of God who wanted to be like his
Father, but he was cast out because he could not be his own man. We started to portray Satan as a man, and the
more he became man, in the end, Satan was just another mad man on this Earth,
and by that time, we humans knew how to imprison men with minds that evil. Be it with prisons and bars, or prisons of
the mind, we humans became doctors that knew how to take care of deranged
individuals such as Satan. Satan was no
longer a boogey-man, so we had to find a new idea to scare us, and what better
than a being from another world. The
alien is like Satan, the alien is not of this earth, the alien is at first
evil, but the more we see the alien in print, the more comfortable we humans
get with the idea of alien abduction.
This alien phenomenon will one day be nothing. It will become like Satan, scary at first,
but in the end a joke. And this joke
will not even be funny.
Dr. Smith –
What’s that commotion outside? Do you
hear it?
Dr. Miller –
NO!, it sounds like terror!
(the door to the
room the professors are sitting in, collapses.
And in struts in, this four foot being, a gray, with large eyes and a
ray gun is his hand)
ALIEN -
^^%?>%%@##~~`~`~
~~~`~~`~~~~~`
(loud screams, followed by louder
screams of help. Minutes pass and the
ALIEN walks out, leaving a room covered in blood and lifeless feet)
