saddened by staples

to talk shit and not get hit, last night i had those dreams once more of a musical evening, i havent had any strange dreams in a long time, but i had the sci fi ones last night, let me remember, it was the end of the world and we wer all surviving a la mad max, there were mean cars and people hiding from the many suns, i remember being at a funeral, the obelisks(sic) were grand and beatiful and big as hell, there were many dead people and most were buried near the sea, and when i looked out in the sea, i saw the gods, othello and jupiter,othello was the poseidon, but he was not trapped like hades and me and othello were on talking terms, to talk to othello i had to look up and find the constellation, and othello was located in the orion constellation, but othello spoke to me and we went pillaging, he gave me a ship, or rather i was on the crew for a ship that looked like the nautilus circa alan moores league of extraordinary gentleman, but he was the captain, with his long beard and he answered to othello, so we went warring with these gentle lands that were now peaceful but at one time they were places of illrepute, but now they were holy as if some man had spoken on their behalf that these cities were changing their life for ever,  but we were attacking these ports and with othellos sword, he was cutting these towns in half, first went the moutains, a clean cut that left nothing in its wake, it was a big void that we were causing everywhere we were going, the mayor of one town comes and begs for forgiveness, saying he has no idea why we are destroying these towns, they have not angered the gods, but othello replies its not the sins of the current fathers, but thousands of years ago, a sin was committed and no god ever cleaned it up, so now we were going to charge everyone, the town folk begged and pleaded with the gods i was with to give them a chance, for no one knew of these legends or folktales that we spoke of, othello picked up his blade and drove it down the head of the mayor, cutting him clean in half, then othello cut to the left and sliced all his entourage as well, then he went to the mountains and cut the mountains down to the sea level to leave nothing behind, all of the crew picked up the dead women and left everuthing elese for there was nothing of worth to be found, nothing but dead women and we took the women on board and went in search for another town to pillage and destroy, what does this dream mean, i had plenty of dreams like this, i rmember sarah being in one of them, i dont know ab out this girl sarah, i really love the hell out of her, but it seems like im doing it all for nothing, this time that i am out, i am not calling her so much out of my respect and love for her, i love her so much, i would love to get married with her and have a family, but we all have these people that we lust over dont we,and we never get satisfied in our own lives becuase we were made for each other, but we keep putting it aside thinking we will find someone better, but you know what, she is the best for me and i am the best for her, but i am taking it slow right now God will provide, i have to stop taking control of my life and put God first, with God first then i can trust in him and He will bring me closer to my wife, beit Sarah or someone completely different, but me and sarah have this life that deserves to be lived together, how do i tell her that i love her completely, how do i tell her that to me she is madly loved, i love her, i love her & i even love her daughter, whom i am willing to take care of and provide for, well thats enough