so i get busy

and its not even busy doing good things, but yesterday i went to my probation officer to see how i was doing and it went pretty well, better than i thought i thought i was going to get in trouble, but happily i did not, i could have let my guilt get me and that could have done me in, but instead i just went and stayed happy, but later on i went to hang out with this friend of mine and then we were going to drop him off at his girls house, which i did, but he suggested i hand around for thirty min or so, and i agreed, but then i ended up hanging out there for more than 30 min, i stayed there for about five hours and it was a good five hours, i met his on again off again girlfriend and i met her roommate which i thought was really cool, then i found out later that she does not hang out with other people the way she was hanging around me last night, and yeah i liked her right off the bat, but you know how i do it, i act nonchalant to get women comfortable around me, becuase most women just have men hitting on them and im not like that, i know that makes me really unmale, but that is the way i think, that is the way i go around in this world, but we played darts and we did alright, but i was able to let myself grow in this situation, i was able to be me and nobody cared, well i mean nobody really minded becuase they were all smart, and this was something that i liked, there were four smart people, five when the german showed up and i was able to speak of dosteyevsky and kharms and bulgakov and nobody told me to shut up which was really great, i was invited to further hang out with them so i came home early aroung twelve midnight, but it got me thinking about the people i had been hanging out with, they did not have their own place, not like these women who had their own place and made me feel comfortable, then i thought of women or people how there are lots of people who dont like crowds and when she was speaking of crowds and not being able to hang around them made me sympathize with her because i had felt like that my entire life and no one understands, but when you meet someone that can understand your phobia or when i meet someone that has the same phobias as myself it gets me wondering about lots of things, of how i really am not that unique, i just have problems that countless others have as well